


pancakes

by flosus



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Depressed Uchiha Sasuke, Depression, M/M, but like uh this is kinda me forcing my emotions onto sasuke, i just want my boys to be happy but theres no way itll come easy, i think i write better when im depressed, naruto tries to deal w sasuke and his depression, sorry sasuke, therapist iruka, therapist kakashi, yall i was depressed asf n i wrote this so like, yall sasuke is trying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 23:10:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17476730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flosus/pseuds/flosus
Summary: Quelling the disgusting part of him that demanded more—that demanded an explanation after being neglected, pushed away for a month, that wanted to scream and tear the sheets from the bed and force Sasuke to bare himself to him—he opened his mouth: “Don’t be sorry, Sasuke. I obviously feel pretty neglected, but I know you wouldn’t hide from me like this on purpose.” He sniffed, coming to the other man’s side carefully, desperately afraid of rejection.or basically sasuke has been depressed and has not left his room for a month and naruto is worried sick





	pancakes

**Author's Note:**

> can you tell im awful at titles?
> 
> hello guys, gals, n nb pals, this is my first sasuke/naruto fic and uh it felt oddly really easy to write. i wrote this after having a breakdown n weirdly i find it easier to write when im at a low point myself. since this fic is kinda heavy, i added a lil humor/fluffy bit at the end
> 
> pls point out my typos or any other awkward writing, no beta guys yikes

“Hi, stinky,” Naruto smiles as he enters Sasuke’s room with a tray of black English tea and chicken noodle soup. Upon receiving no cheeky response or steely glare, Naruto felt his light air fall away as he closed the door, placing the tray on the nightstand near the bed, and approached his boyfriend. “Sasuke…”

 

The silence had been nearly palpable, threatening any soft feeling that could’ve arisen between the two. Passing by the door, one could’ve easily overlooked the room. There was a double bed in the center of the floor, a plain grey color, and off-white walls. The scene was almost normal, except the usual crisp sheets were now crumpled around a figure who occupied a corner of the bed, unmoving and immobile, the blinds were drawn closed, and the small nightstand was littered with anything and everything: paper, food, cords. The contents of the tray nearly hit the floor as Naruto, ungracefully, stepped over some jeans that were in the middle of the cold floor.

 

“Sasuke, you have to eat.” Naruto said firmly, trying to keep his words as minimal as possible, in hopes of not provoking the volatile man. Naruto’s blue eyes searched for any movement, any movement at _all_ , as he kneeled behind the disruption in the normally neat bed sheets. He felt frustrated tears spring to his eyes as he struggled to swallow words that wanted to leap from his throat. Unsure of what to say, he crawled from the bed, alerting Sasuke—it felt like he was talking to nothing, silence forcing a rift between them—that he was leaving, but he’d be _back_ in an hour and the food, which was on the nightstand, better be eaten—or…

 

 _Or what, Naruto?_ The blond shook his head, shutting the door gently, though he felt like ripping the thing off the hinges, forcing Sasuke out of his depressive stupor so that things could be normal, that they could be normal. They had waited so long, sacrificed _so_ much, for a chance at normal. _Now..._

 

Naruto shook his head, feeling angry and isolated and _guilty_ because he knows Sasuke is suffering, and he shouldn’t be upset at him—but he is, and at times he feels a restlessness settling under his limbs, getting so intense sometimes that it forces tremors through his body. He feels so pathetic, sitting there, not being able to do anything but _tremble_. Bursting from his seat suddenly, he stares at the clock on the stove. 5:27 PM. It hasn’t even been twenty minutes yet it feels like it’s been an eternity. Naruto bites his lip, heart pounding, as he drags his hands over his face, pacing around the perimeter of the couch. _Fuck_.

 

  * ~ •



 

Naruto enters the room with brimming agitation. His heart beats in his chest, the everpresent anxiety still buzzing inside. Immediately his eyes land on the nightstand, the tray looked untouched, he felt a feeble flame of rage rise in his chest. It sputtered, and anger nearly possessed him, but a choked sob rose instead. He couldn’t keep himself from breaking down, heart hurting immensely.

 

“Sasuke, _please_. Please.” He shuddered, sinking to the floor, arms trembling, as he attempted to push himself to his feet—but failed. “Just—“

 

“Naruto—“

 

His head snapped up, and he recognized that he probably looked pathetic and desperate, but he needed that attention so badly—it’s been a month—a month of neglect, sadness, and—

 

Naruto clung to that simple beckoning, the simple recital of his name, used that as his lifeline. He pushed himself to his knees, crawling towards the bed. “Sasuke, I—“ His lower lip trembled when he saw how wrecked his partner looked, chapped lips; terribly blanched skin; and horribly somber eyes that shot something through Naruto that almost made him jolt and gasp. “Sasuke, you…”

 

Neither of them said anything for a few minutes, shock stealing any possible word or action. Naruto tried not to blatantly stare, but he could never mask his true feelings very well—and so his probing blue eyes were blown open, mouth gaping. He straightened when he saw Sasuke fidget, turning away. Guilt buried itself deep in his stomach.

 

Finally, Naruto cut the heavy silence. “Did you eat?”

 

“A,” he cleared his throat, which had gone unused for the past month, “little.”

 

“Good.”

 

“I’m...I’m sorry, Naruto.”

 

Quelling the disgusting part of him that demanded more—that demanded an _explanation after being neglected, pushed away for a month, that wanted to scream and tear the sheets from the bed and force Sasuke to bare himself to him—_ he opened his mouth: “Don’t be sorry, Sasuke. I obviously feel pretty neglected, but I know you wouldn’t hide from me like this on purpose.” He sniffed, coming to the other man’s side carefully, desperately afraid of rejection.

 

Sasuke shifted but didn’t move. “I haven’t left my room for a month.”

 

Naruto stared at him as if to say _oh, I’m well-aware_.

 

“I’ve only showered twice.”

 

“Sasuke, I couldn’t care less. You’re _talking_ to me, you’re _eating_. I-“ Naruto shook his head, wrapping his arms around his partner’s neck, burying his face in it. Gradually, almost hesitantly, Sasuke wrapped his arms around Naruto’s torso, and after realizing that it’s really been a month, a month since he hugged or kissed the blond, he squeezed, mirroring Naruto’s actions.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Shut up.” Naruto said, but mostly to himself, as his raw eyes threatened to spill with more tears. Unwillingly, they left him. Naruto understood Sasuke’s shame but felt overcome with emotion because Sasuke allowed Naruto to see him at his lowest. Naruto vowed to make sure Sasuke never sunk this low again—ever.

 

Sasuke didn’t say anything as he hugged the trembling body, trying to ignore the hole spreading larger inside his chest. He was a horrible boyfriend.

 

Naruto sniffed, finally raising his head up. “I’ve missed you so fucking much.”

 

Sasuke breathed in. “I know.”

 

“I don’t understand...What’s the matter? Things seemed to be going fine, is it..is it me? Do you want to break—“

 

“ _No_.” Sasuke spoke with finality, closing the direction of that conversation.

 

“Then?” Naruto asked, confusion and anxiety and everything threatening to render him aggressive. He reminded himself of how raw and open Sasuke was right now. A wrong word could make the black-haired man shut down. _Calm down, Naruto_.

 

“I...I just don’t feel good.”

 

“I got that. But how do you mean? Are you saying you feel depressed?”

 

“I think so.” Sasuke murmured, sighing raggedly. “Naruto, can you get up—I—“ He began to breathe shallowly, a painful feeling clasping around his heart.

 

Naruto’s eyes widened as he was shoved. “Sasuke—“ The other man flew from the bed to out the door, and Naruto was after him, almost automatically.

 

He found Sasuke crouched in the hallway, knees pulled up to his face, as he cradled his legs. He was motionless, but Naruto knew Sasuke. He tried to internalize everything. Naruto was by his side instantly, not touching him, but giving him all his attention through presence alone.

 

It was muffled but Naruto heard the small “I’m sorry” leave the ball in front of him.

 

“ _Sasuke_. You don’t have to be sorry. I really want you to be better, and we can do this slowly—“

 

Sasuke grimaced, hating how he resorted so low that now he felt like he was being _patronized_.

 

“—I want you to know that I’m here for you. And I should be the one apologizing. I’ve been so angry, so angry at you for...well, for leaving me, and I know it isn’t your fault. But everything was so good, and I was so angry you shut me out, that you wouldn’t let me know what was on your mind. Yeah...I-I’m truly sorry, Sasuke.” Naruto’s eyes were dry. A month of endless tears would do that to you.

 

Finally, Sasuke looked up, a pained expression on his face.

 

“What?” Naruto said immediately.

 

“I smell like shit.”

 

Naruto shook his head, smiling a little. “True.”

 

“But...you have nothing to be sorry for. I...I’ll try to do better.”

 

That didn’t sound right to Naruto. “You know, Sasuke, it’s alright to ask for help. I know you’re used to suffering alone, but, like, I can try my best to help, and Sakura knows some good therapists—“

 

“I really don’t want a therapist.” Sasuke admitted, cringing at the thought of him sitting tensely in an office and being talking down to, being offered advice he would probably never use.

 

“You say that because you’ve never had one. Once you find the right therapist, it’s like magic. Mr. Umino is absolutely wonderful. He helped me through the death of my parents.”

 

Sasuke didn’t say anything, seemingly considering it. “Hm.”

 

“Plus therapy goes nothing like how you think it does. It’s pretty personalized, well it is for me, at least. Mr. Umino probably knows me as well as you know me, or maybe even more. At one of our sessions like a year ago, I was telling him like, ‘ _Man, Mr. Umino, I hate showering because I hate seeing my body, what do I do’_ and he was just like, _‘Shower with the lights off’_ and I was literally like...bro. That’s absolutely brilliant, why couldn’t I think of that—“

 

Sasuke stared at him, blank-faced, before a small, tired smile stretched over his chapped lips as he watched Naruto try to search for the point that had gotten lost in his small rant.

 

“I swear there was a point I was getting to— _oh!_ In conclusion, therapists are very useful when you can’t seem to make rational decisions.” Naruto nodded to himself, proud that he had remembered what he was trying to say.

 

“Okay.” Sasuke said.

 

“Okay?” Naruto smiled, giddy. “You’ll let me call Sakura and have her refer you to someone?”

 

Sasuke nodded, prompting a soft _yes_. Naruto grinned wildly, promising Sasuke that he wouldn’t regret it.

 

“It won’t be overnight progress, but like..it’ll be good. You need the help, Sasuke.”

 

Sasuke sighed, begrudgingly admitting that he did indeed need help. He suddenly stood, beckoning Naruto to do the same. “Can we shower?”

 

“Oh, yes, thank God—“

 

  * ~ •



 

“Meds.” Naruto said, standing in front of the stove, cursing as the pancake he flipped landed on the counter.

 

Sasuke snickered at the sight, grabbing the orange bottle from the windowsill. He fell back on the couch ungracefully and pulled his phone from his pocket. “Done. What’s for breakfast?”

 

“Pan…cakes,” Naruto said slowly, cussing again as he burned himself. Sasuke turned around.

 

“Ugh, idiot.” He murmured. “Don’t pick up the pancakes from the pan with your bare hands.”

 

“I don’t see you over here slaving over this hot stove! You’re going to eat this regardless of how I get it onto the plate.”

 

“It was your choice to cook, but you do have a point.” Sasuke acknowledged, oblivious (mostly uncaring) as Naruto rolled his eyes, presenting him with a plate and a glass of water. “Thank—“

 

“—you—“ Naruto finished as plucked the device from the other’s hands, putting it in his left pocket, away from his boyfriend. Said man set his mouth in agitation.

 

“Why, Naruto, why?”

 

“Eat!” Naruto plopped down next to Sasuke with his own plate, drowning the fluffy cakes with syrup. Sasuke grimaced at the display.

 

“I would if I had a fork.”

 

“Lazy-ass. Go get one yourself.” Naruto spoke through a mouth of food. He picked up a pancake with his hands. Sasuke couldn’t even be surprised, shaking his head as he got up, returning with a fork. “What? Didn’t get one for me?”

 

“You seemed perfectly content eating with your hands, so—“

 

“Asshole.” He whined, putting a piece of pancake in his mouth, having the audacity to _suck his fingers_.

 

“I literally can’t with you. Like..” Sasuke grimaced.

 

Naruto beamed. “At least I actually eat pancakes properly.” Sasuke deadpanned. “You don't even use syrup on your pancakes.”

 

“They’re already sweet.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, but not sweet enough. Seriously, we need to get you right.”

 

Sasuke blinked. “I’m fine.”

 

“In every aspect, except that which concerns pancakes, yes, which I am wholly glad about. But—“ Naruto nudged his boyfriend. “Tell me about your sessions with Mr. Hatake.”

 

“They’re good.”

 

“Aw,” Naruto pouted, “that’s it?”

 

“Sorry, Naruto, therapist-client confidentiality.”

 

Naruto slouched, slowly chewing his breakfast. “Aw, fine.” But when Sasuke began to talk again, he perked up.

 

“At first I didn’t think that it would go so well because he seems so aloof. But he’s really insightful and, like Mr. Umino, he’s good at offering solutions that I never would’ve thought of.”

 

Naruto offered a soft smile. “I’m so glad, Sasuke. You seem a bit better these days.”

 

“I am.” Sasuke concurred.

 

“Perfect. Kiss?” Naruto leaned up, syrup covering his mouth. Sasuke sighed and leaned in, pressing their lips together. Immediately the black-haired man scowled. “Heyyyyyyyy!”

 

“I don’t want this on my lips.”

 

“Your choice.” Naruto parroted Sasuke from earlier as he leaned in to lick the sweetness from his boyfriend's mouth.

 

“I hate you.”

 

“I love you too, baby.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you if you made it this far. pls feel free to roast my entire existence in the comments, i love you guys <3
> 
> also i purposefully left out a "reason" for sasukes depression, sometimes there isnt a clear reason, i also tried to make it clear that he wasnt "cured," it isnt how mental illness works, hes still learning to cope w it--and sometimes things will sink low and youll push away your lover and refuse to eat or shower, but HEY maybe ill make up for this w some smut or something...hehe
> 
> thank you again for reading!


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